[She can't let things escalate tooo much, but...a few kisses can't hurt. She returns it, kissing his lips over and over lightly, growing comfortable in this position underneath him.]
[On one hand, he knows that if she is saying she wanted to talk... it was likely something that was important to her, at the very least.
On the other... her kisses are impossible to resist. If she is going to keep kissing him then he's going to assume it can wait and accept them eagerly-- and take it even further.
He tugs her against him, groping her ass tight.]
And I want to hear what you have to say-- all of it.
[Her look-- so soft, so loving... it fills him with hesitation.
It would be a simple thing to avoid. Lying would be a waste of time. No lie he told would be mistaken for honesty. He simply wasn't capable. Of course that didn't mean he couldn't simply keep his lips sealed.
When he exhales again, it is with a soft sigh, burying his face into the corner of her neck.]
...I'm better when you're here...
[But the words he utters are no form of avoidance-- even if they could be taken that way. He allows his voice to express a soft vulnerability, even though the words themselves are not particularly revealing. With just that inflection, his voice tells just how difficult it has been without her.]
[She moves from brushing his hair away to holding his face.]
Then I will be here.
[It is not entirely what she wants to hear. She knows she matters to him, but she wants to know of the other people that matter, as well, but hearing him like that...so vulnerable, such an obvious concession...she won't suffer herself to ignore it.
She kisses him gently on his lips, thumb brushing back against his face while the other reaches to lace their fingers together, gently squeezing.]
[He knows he is trying to fill a space he cannot. She is the most important existance in his universe.
Even so, she is not them. Same as she is not Elliel.
Some things, even her presence cannot soothe. But-- it is more bearable with her at his side.]
...it is a bittersweet affair. For them, joyous, yes-- though they had their reservations as well. Naturally I am happy for them. They have earned their happy ending. But I cannot help but feel cheated. Something irreplaceable was taken away from me... and as ever, there is nothing I can do about it. My duty is to stand watch over those who will no doubt come after and support those who are still here.
[As he speaks, she runs her thumb on the back of his hand, their fingers still laced.]
Mm...I understand. I understand completely. I have another brother...we adopted each other here, and I miss him every day. I don't want him to be here, he was so...he wasn't made for this place, but not seeing him or having him...even knowing that he is in a better place, one that he deserves, hurts.
[She lets go of his hand to hold his face in both her hands. This precious gift of a man. And it is upon saying that she remembers that either one of them could be gone from the other's life in an instant, and her hands tighten for a moment.]
That is all we can do, sometimes. Honour those who have left as best we can and watch over those who come anew. And...we can also do our best to be with those we have in the moment for as long as we have them, for as long as we can. To try and not have regrets.
[It may still hurt in the end, in all likelihood, but they can mitigate the pain.]
[She has been here longer than he has. It is no surprise that she would understand. The way she loves people so easily... she's probably mourned more losses than imaginable.
Inside of him there is a deep rooted jealousy that burns. That she would speak to him of another brother-- that she would take another. For all she knew, her true brother was lost to her. Oh... but she had this one. This one she chose.
Perhaps he was a better brother than her own.
...
Every part of him bristles to think that they could be separated. He knows it is true, but he rejects the idea with every fiber of his being. Hates it.
Because he knows she would not be alone. Her lovers would keep her warm. She would mourn but--
Perhaps the space he would leave would be rather small, in the end.]
...I do not intend to falter. My feelings aside, I will continue to look out for them as I always have. What I have to offer for the time I am here is theirs. It is as you say-- that is the best we can do.
[She is so blissfully unaware of all those thoughts, and yet there is one that is, at least, on the same wavelength.]
I...if you were to graduate, I would be happy for you, I would. Anyone who gets out of this place should, but not everything here is always terrible and so...I would miss you so much.
[Her voice falls to a whisper and her hands tighten over his face just a little more, like he is a lifeline.
Asking him not to go is selfish when it wouldn't be his choice anyway, but the way she looks and holds him might as well anyway.]
[She listens, and it does sting for a moment, but she starts to bury it, only for him to continue speaking.]
Ah...
[She's a little speechless.]
Do...you want to be with me that much?
[She doesn't think of the logistics in that moment. how she needs to go back home to fix it, how she wants to see Vivi and everyone else in Amaurot. That Nite wants her so much...]
[On many occasions he would tease her for asking such an obvious uquestion at this point. But this time he does not; golden eyes smiling down at her warm and steady.]
I do.
[He does not care what he would steal her from; the countless possibilities that exist within her future. He would destroy every potential path that could take her away from him.]
Wherever it is I go-- whether my soul is sold or I give myself to another world, I would not be complete without you. There are many things I have simply accepted, whether I like them or not. Being without you... that is one I refuse.
[He chuckles softly, even as he squeezes her tight; running his hands through her hair gently.]
You are sweet. As kind as any person I've ever known.
I cannot say whether or not I truly possess such a thing. However... even if I did... it was made by the hands of others, not unlike any other "thing" one can possess. I do not know that it is so great and important that it is not worth selling-- for the right price.
I think...being here confirms that you must. Souls are currency. I am not certain Hell would bother with us if we did not have them, even if...hm, I am in the same boat, but I suppose I must.
[But she frowns fiercely.]
Even if it was made by someone else, it's yours. And it's valuable. I know a lot of people have made homes for themselves here in Hell and are thriving, but I...
[her frown eases, becoming more thoughtful.]
I don't know, I feel like you're not meant for it...and if...if being together somehow is what you want, I don't think I can stay here either.
[She looks as though she might say more, but she stops.]
Yes, surely it is of some value. Hmhmhm... perhaps in its novelty it is worth that much more. That would be a very sweet irony. Nonetheless, I assure you I would not give it carelessly.
Yours, too, I am certain is a most beautiful thing. And I would not want to see it taken. So I am quite glad to hear that you have other plans in mind.
Being together is exactly what I desire. I will go wherever you wish to go.
[Because it did not matter what her plans were-- he would devote himself to them without question even if she did not or would not ask him to. As long as he was with her nothing else mattered.
There was much he still didn't know. And yet just knowing that of himself... made it feel like he knew everything he needed to know.]
Mmn.
[He presses his forehead against hers.]
You have asked your questions and seem satisfied, at least for the time being. Yet-- I think I am not yet ready to let you go. Will you stay with me? Even knowing that I am using my feelings of love and joy towards you to bury my sorrows? Will you indulge me still this momentary distraction?
[She looks at him quizzically like "Really, you're not even going to ask what the plan is?" so "loudly" that she hardly needs to voice it, but...she won't push that right now. She knows what she needs to do but...
But...
Really, he doesn't need to hear her talk about it, yet. It's...silly, especially lately. She wonders if she can do anything and--
She shuts her eyes perhaps harshly a moment before forcing herself to relax. It helps when he presses his forehead to hers. Knowing he's here always does. But she's supposed to be here for him, not the other way around, and so she buries her worries and insecurities deep.
She manages a somewhat wry smile, clearly amused at his statement.]
Are you ever ready to let me go?
[And she kisses his nose.]
This...this is different than before. If you're lonely, I'm hardly going to leave you alone. And we're talking productively, so...it's fine. I will stay with you, gladly, and comfort you for as long as you need, or want.
[Oh he will not forget. And he will ask. When it is far less obvious. And since he intends to keep her-- there is no rush.]
And if I said I wasn't? Would you let me keep you forever?
[It's so outrageous it must be a joke. And yet he's so transparent that it cannot be anything but the truth. Somehow the statement simply Exists, walking the thin line between both.]
I am terribly lonely. Yet when you are here, even that pain is bearable. Your comfort is the finest medicine; smooth and sweet. Not so unlike other parts of you...
[His words are genuine at first, but they turn distinctly sinful without remorse at the end.]
[She traces his lips with a finger, while her own curve into a lazy smile.]
Mmmm...maybe. If you're good.
[Does she know that he means it? She seems to walk this line of Between with him, not leaning any which way regardless.
She does not like that, though, that the pain is only bearable, and not gone. She might not be capable of eliminating it entirely, especially given what's just happened, but...]
Tell me then, what you want, what you need, what I must do to soothe your ache far, far more.
[...but she is going to try nonetheless. She can do nothing less. A hand travels into his shirt to rest on his heart.
[It is too fresh to be completely gone-- and yet it is all but pushed from his mind as she smiles lazily at him; her simple actions so effectively seductive.]
Then I will be... on my best behavior for you.
[An irony, but not untrue. He knows her. He knows that she likes him this way. He does not have to be different to please her.]
What I want and what I need are no different. You and you alone.
[He places his hand over hers, holding her hand to his chest as his magitechnical heartbeat quickens. Let her feel his desire... the stirring of his excitement... straight from the source.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
i surrender~
[She can't let things escalate tooo much, but...a few kisses can't hurt. She returns it, kissing his lips over and over lightly, growing comfortable in this position underneath him.]
huhuhuhu
[He will take those kisses and then some. All that he is offered and all that he can have.]
no subject
Nite--I--wanted to--speak to you.
[But she is also kissing him so that makes it harder.]
no subject
On the other... her kisses are impossible to resist. If she is going to keep kissing him then he's going to assume it can wait and accept them eagerly-- and take it even further.
He tugs her against him, groping her ass tight.]
And I want to hear what you have to say-- all of it.
no subject
Mmm...well, I just wanted to know how you were doing.
[She reaches up, to brush some hair away from his face, to look at him kindly.]
Now that they're gone.
no subject
It would be a simple thing to avoid. Lying would be a waste of time. No lie he told would be mistaken for honesty. He simply wasn't capable. Of course that didn't mean he couldn't simply keep his lips sealed.
When he exhales again, it is with a soft sigh, burying his face into the corner of her neck.]
...I'm better when you're here...
[But the words he utters are no form of avoidance-- even if they could be taken that way. He allows his voice to express a soft vulnerability, even though the words themselves are not particularly revealing. With just that inflection, his voice tells just how difficult it has been without her.]
no subject
Then I will be here.
[It is not entirely what she wants to hear. She knows she matters to him, but she wants to know of the other people that matter, as well, but hearing him like that...so vulnerable, such an obvious concession...she won't suffer herself to ignore it.
She kisses him gently on his lips, thumb brushing back against his face while the other reaches to lace their fingers together, gently squeezing.]
no subject
Even so, she is not them. Same as she is not Elliel.
Some things, even her presence cannot soothe. But-- it is more bearable with her at his side.]
...it is a bittersweet affair. For them, joyous, yes-- though they had their reservations as well. Naturally I am happy for them. They have earned their happy ending. But I cannot help but feel cheated. Something irreplaceable was taken away from me... and as ever, there is nothing I can do about it. My duty is to stand watch over those who will no doubt come after and support those who are still here.
no subject
Mm...I understand. I understand completely. I have another brother...we adopted each other here, and I miss him every day. I don't want him to be here, he was so...he wasn't made for this place, but not seeing him or having him...even knowing that he is in a better place, one that he deserves, hurts.
[She lets go of his hand to hold his face in both her hands. This precious gift of a man. And it is upon saying that she remembers that either one of them could be gone from the other's life in an instant, and her hands tighten for a moment.]
That is all we can do, sometimes. Honour those who have left as best we can and watch over those who come anew. And...we can also do our best to be with those we have in the moment for as long as we have them, for as long as we can. To try and not have regrets.
[It may still hurt in the end, in all likelihood, but they can mitigate the pain.]
no subject
Inside of him there is a deep rooted jealousy that burns. That she would speak to him of another brother-- that she would take another. For all she knew, her true brother was lost to her. Oh... but she had this one. This one she chose.
Perhaps he was a better brother than her own.
...
Every part of him bristles to think that they could be separated. He knows it is true, but he rejects the idea with every fiber of his being. Hates it.
Because he knows she would not be alone. Her lovers would keep her warm. She would mourn but--
Perhaps the space he would leave would be rather small, in the end.]
...I do not intend to falter. My feelings aside, I will continue to look out for them as I always have. What I have to offer for the time I am here is theirs. It is as you say-- that is the best we can do.
no subject
[She is so blissfully unaware of all those thoughts, and yet there is one that is, at least, on the same wavelength.]
I...if you were to graduate, I would be happy for you, I would. Anyone who gets out of this place should, but not everything here is always terrible and so...I would miss you so much.
[Her voice falls to a whisper and her hands tighten over his face just a little more, like he is a lifeline.
Asking him not to go is selfish when it wouldn't be his choice anyway, but the way she looks and holds him might as well anyway.]
no subject
[Which seems like a cruel admittance, in the face of her obvious desire to cling to him. However, he makes it clear not even seconds later.]
But they would in turn have to accept that no wish of mine could they grant if they could not allow me to take you with me.
[He holds her to him. There is a calm assurance in his grip. He does not have to cling desperately. He in confident in this.]
no subject
Ah...
[She's a little speechless.]
Do...you want to be with me that much?
[She doesn't think of the logistics in that moment. how she needs to go back home to fix it, how she wants to see Vivi and everyone else in Amaurot. That Nite wants her so much...]
no subject
I do.
[He does not care what he would steal her from; the countless possibilities that exist within her future. He would destroy every potential path that could take her away from him.]
Wherever it is I go-- whether my soul is sold or I give myself to another world, I would not be complete without you. There are many things I have simply accepted, whether I like them or not. Being without you... that is one I refuse.
no subject
[She panics for a moment.]
It may be yours, and so you can ignore me, but please, your soul is so important. Please don't sell it.
no subject
[He chuckles softly, even as he squeezes her tight; running his hands through her hair gently.]
You are sweet. As kind as any person I've ever known.
I cannot say whether or not I truly possess such a thing. However... even if I did... it was made by the hands of others, not unlike any other "thing" one can possess. I do not know that it is so great and important that it is not worth selling-- for the right price.
no subject
[But she frowns fiercely.]
Even if it was made by someone else, it's yours. And it's valuable. I know a lot of people have made homes for themselves here in Hell and are thriving, but I...
[her frown eases, becoming more thoughtful.]
I don't know, I feel like you're not meant for it...and if...if being together somehow is what you want, I don't think I can stay here either.
[She looks as though she might say more, but she stops.]
no subject
Yours, too, I am certain is a most beautiful thing. And I would not want to see it taken. So I am quite glad to hear that you have other plans in mind.
Being together is exactly what I desire. I will go wherever you wish to go.
no subject
[She has plans, of course, but he isn't asking about them, really, so she won't bore him with the details.
like the details of his own future but boring details nonetheless. Instead she wraps her arms around him.]
no subject
There was much he still didn't know. And yet just knowing that of himself... made it feel like he knew everything he needed to know.]
Mmn.
[He presses his forehead against hers.]
You have asked your questions and seem satisfied, at least for the time being. Yet-- I think I am not yet ready to let you go. Will you stay with me? Even knowing that I am using my feelings of love and joy towards you to bury my sorrows? Will you indulge me still this momentary distraction?
no subject
But...
Really, he doesn't need to hear her talk about it, yet. It's...silly, especially lately. She wonders if she can do anything and--
She shuts her eyes perhaps harshly a moment before forcing herself to relax. It helps when he presses his forehead to hers. Knowing he's here always does. But she's supposed to be here for him, not the other way around, and so she buries her worries and insecurities deep.
She manages a somewhat wry smile, clearly amused at his statement.]
Are you ever ready to let me go?
[And she kisses his nose.]
This...this is different than before. If you're lonely, I'm hardly going to leave you alone. And we're talking productively, so...it's fine. I will stay with you, gladly, and comfort you for as long as you need, or want.
no subject
And if I said I wasn't? Would you let me keep you forever?
[It's so outrageous it must be a joke. And yet he's so transparent that it cannot be anything but the truth. Somehow the statement simply Exists, walking the thin line between both.]
I am terribly lonely. Yet when you are here, even that pain is bearable. Your comfort is the finest medicine; smooth and sweet. Not so unlike other parts of you...
[His words are genuine at first, but they turn distinctly sinful without remorse at the end.]
no subject
Mmmm...maybe. If you're good.
[Does she know that he means it? She seems to walk this line of Between with him, not leaning any which way regardless.
She does not like that, though, that the pain is only bearable, and not gone. She might not be capable of eliminating it entirely, especially given what's just happened, but...]
Tell me then, what you want, what you need, what I must do to soothe your ache far, far more.
[...but she is going to try nonetheless. She can do nothing less. A hand travels into his shirt to rest on his heart.
no subject
Then I will be... on my best behavior for you.
[An irony, but not untrue. He knows her. He knows that she likes him this way. He does not have to be different to please her.]
What I want and what I need are no different. You and you alone.
[He places his hand over hers, holding her hand to his chest as his magitechnical heartbeat quickens. Let her feel his desire... the stirring of his excitement... straight from the source.]
Tell me that you love me.
no subject
]
I...are you certain you want to hear that from me?
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)